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To those who for SOME REASON are concerned, I have made a potion. It is a most potable potion. It is a potentially powerful potion, if the portent is to be palpable. Here is the recipe and instructions, IF YOU DARE. Love, Rher -^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^_^_^-^___________......^-^-^-^-^ INGREDIENTS (The things that make the stuff) 1 ripe apple, preferrably red. If it's not red, it's dead. 1 steel hammer, never used by a midwife 1 root of ginger, and that is not a redhaired gentlesir, but the tuber of vegetation plucked from the ground. 1 hair of a ginger man, that is not the spicy root used to flavor food, but stolen from a poor redheaded sap. 1 wooden bucket. Bonus points if it once held fish. INSTRUCTIONS (for those who don't know, that's how you do stuff) 1. Dig up your neighbor's back yard until you're lucky enough to find a sprig of wild ginger. If necessary, use the hammer to fend off your offended kinfolk, but keep it away from midwives. If you have no neighbor to offend with a yard big enough to dig in, I hear tradesfolk from Gogoon will grant you some for a small boon. Just don't make fun of their skirts. 2. Shlep your way to the nearest inn and sweettalk the innskeeper into selling you a ripe, fresh, red apple. If you lack the necessary charisma, the hammer is again a useful tool, but when engaging in blunt force trauma, make sure to get no blood on your potion ingredients. Unless you're into that. It might make for a fine addition, depending on perspective. 3. Remember that guy from back when with the red hair that used to speak in a whiny little voice? He has a few hairs that he doesn't need. Grab some off his head, and prepare yourself for the protesting. Run away before he can call the guards. 4. Introduce your ingredients to the bucket. Share their names, backstories, and some interests in an awkward yet mandatory manner of smalltalk. As your mind starts to numb, grab your steel hammer that you've dutily kept away from midwives, and smash everything together, until it is a nice, even, somewhat tasty pulp. 5. Take this bucket of hairy apple sauce and place it on the back door of someone you wish to confound. Maybe it's a tax collector, or a girl that once told you your face looked like an unwashed dinner plate. Murmur sweet nothing to it and bid it goodbye. Don't leave your hammer in the bucket, as you never want to arm the enemy. 6. Profit from the chaos. I did mention that's what this potion does, right? Also, remember to remove yourself from the crime scene, unless you're ready to use that hammer again. I made the mistake once of sticking around to gloat, and it got awkward fast. ^^^^^_-^-^-^-^------^-^-^-^----------^-^^^^-^___^-^_^ | |