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I find myself sitting in stillness tonight as I reflect upon the path I walked through the druid historian trials. My hands shake as a hold my quill, perhaps because they are so tired from all of the writing. The more I write, the more difficult it seems to continue. I look through this journal and notice so many ink stains, crossed off ideas, and memories of choices I made. (Even some that were not always made with the best of intentions.) I have achieved a lot learning about our history and it's importance though. Some tidbits of knowledge were gleaned from the slightest of details. Some insight came through instantly, from a story I have yet to know. But more often than not, I had to seek out additional sources in order to better understand why individuals in our past made the decisions they did. (And sometimes I had to bother the All-Mother, because she is old, so that she could explain things I just was not understanding.) I now see history as not just a retelling of the past - but also a part of our current life. It is a collection of tales that share deeds carved into time. History is not untouchable though, as most often it is only told through one person's view. Each step I take, each vow I speak, each wrong I admit, each right I uphold... will all become a part of time. How I cope with history, will become the next story in history. Honoring history, or multiple versions of it, is a responsibility we should all take seriously. I know I need to do a little more work on preserving it so as to not repeat previous mistakes. How do I want to be remembered when I am gone? What lessons can I impart that will transcend time? Things to think about in the coming moons as I feel something twisting inside. ~Z | |