Board :Story Contest
Author :Archon Iyagi
Subject :"Soupbeard" 2nd Place - By Sanjuro
Date :4/22
?Soupbeard?

A Muse and Barbarian fell in love with one another, the reasons why and how it happened aren?t important, so don?t worry about it. All you need to know is that they got married, and against his better judgement the Barbarian went to live in the Muse?s giant castle. How did the Muse get this giant castle, you ask? Because she?s super hot and super rich, of course.

So, after moving into the castle, the Barbarian and Muse are sitting down to eat dinner. The Muse has prepared an excellent meal for herself and her husband. She didn?t have her servants make the food because they totally sucked at it compared to her, and she wanted to feed her new husband her greatest delicacy: The Soup.

Taking a spoonful of soup and sucking it down, the Barbarian said, "My word honey! This is the best soup I?ve ever eaten.?    ?Of course it is, its uses the Muse?s secret ingredient,? the Muse said with a grin.

?Well, you?ll have to tell me what it is some day. I can?t wait to eat more of it!?

?Actually,? the Muse looked down at the soup, ?I can never tell you what?s in the soup. It?s an oath we Musei take once we are given the recipe. All I can tell you is that you can find the secret ingredient in my recipe room, but you must never go in there. You are free to do whatever you want, just don?t go in my recipe room.?

The Barbarian nodded and continued eating his soup. He was enamored by his totally hot and awesome Muse wife. She was the best, Muses are the best. Of course, being basically the best person in the world, the Muse had to leave her castle and travel to do some modeling or singing or something. She told the Barbarian he was free to do whatever he wanted, just NEVER enter the recipe room.    

After she left, the Barbarian, being all bored and stuff, began to explore around the castle. He wasn?t used to being in cities and living townie life, so he got bored really quick. There wasn?t much in the way to do in the castle while his smoking hot wife was away, so the Barbarian began to get antsy.    

He started running around in nothing but a loincloth, hacking away at walls and tables and other stupid townie things. Also, if he wasn?t so gross and dirty, he?d probably be hot. Not as hot as his beautifully gorgeously hot Muse wife, but still hot. After a while he couldn?t take it anymore, the half-naked Barbarian ran into the recipe room to see what all the secrecy was about. And to get more soup. Soup is good.    

The door creaked and shuddered as the Barbarian entered the room. Immediately his nose was hit with a disgusting smell, and no, it wasn?t his own smell. This was the smell of death! He looked around for a source of light and found a torch. It was already lit because that?s how stories like this work so don?t question the logic and calm down.    

What he saw in the lit room was absolutely terrifying: mutilated bodies of men. All these men wore a wedding band, and the Barbarian ran out the room. Much to his chagrin, his wife was standing right in front of him as he exited the recipe room.    

?Hello dear,? she said (still looking hot, by the way). ?I see you?ve not done as I asked and went into my recipe room. I cannot abide this transgression.?    

The Barbarian began to shudder as he looked at his wonderfully hot wife. Then, everything went black. Like, you know, fading to black. Then, the scene unfades and the Muse is sitting at her dinner table eating some delicious looking soup.    

?Hmm,? she says putting her spoon down. ?A little more gamey than I like.?

~Sanjuro