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* Helping from the Past * The days seem longer now. One continuous flow of light and dark that have faded into a dull grey existence, lifeless. I miss those rose tinted days when I could call your name and know you'd come running. There was laughter then, vibrant and blossoming. I can't remember a rainy day for the life of me. It's always raining now. There is something missing. I can't name it. It isn't just your absence. There are ghosts of my memory everywhere, placing spectral faces where they once flourished in the flesh. But there is no life here now. Merely the lingering souls of those too weary to let go. I'm no longer sure to which I belong, the dead and nearly forgotten or embittered and tired. It is bittersweet knowing you wouldn't have wanted to live in this world as it is, although I'd bet you wouldn't have let it come to this. There is no going back. I saw you and nearly wept. Not you, but the likeness of your sincerity and untainted joy. I crossed path with a young girl struggling to collect some goods for her guild master, none were about to offer help and her arms and pack were filled so that she could barely stand without toppling over. Have I become so unkind? I felt little in my heart, I could have easily passed her without a second thought but in that moment I did think of you and every adventure we undertook just for the sake of helping another. She was startled, even ashamed, others had not been very kind. But I smiled and shared her load, answering her endless questions as we walked to the guild masters hall. She was grateful, offering me an apple, the only thing she had in the world to spare, and I realized that to her the world wasn't veiled in this gloomy monotone I've taken on. I saw you in her eyes, felt you in her laughter. Life will never be the same without you, but that doesn't mean I can't bless others the way you blessed me. Reikai | |